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me 11:59 September 30th
me 12:00 October 1st
my dislike for current white kid punk culture is real and true, but my like for harmonized pop-punk music is realer and truer
if it’s inaccessible to poor people it’s not radical
god i’m trying so hard stay positive. conrad’s bank account is overdrafted by $100 because of bills, and i have $1.30 left in my account after buying pet food. no money coming in, just a small check. i know this isn’t the end, i know it isn’t. things have to get better than this, right? it doesn’t stay this hard all the time, does it?? please tell me it gets better than this life.
this is so hard
i can’t stop crying
my fiance just got fired from his job over some sort of shady lie made about him. the manager was shifty and rude to him when he went into work today and fired him on the spot with this bizarre, bullshit excuse. conrad’s been working his ass off at this job, getting compliments from customers almost every day, and essentially out-shining all the other employees. every day he would come home and say how happy he was to be back at this old place because they clearly needed his skills there. he felt like his work was worth something. then this new manager up and fires him without warning, with a reason that doesn’t make any logical sense and sounds like some shady-cover up lie.
i called the GM, and despite my not-chillness was extremely chill and wanted to understand the situation with conrad, especially bc it affects me directly, and as soon as i metioned conrad (like 5 seconds into the phone call because i was making a normal call?) he SAID HE WAS GONNA CALL THE POLICE ON ME? I called this manager once, he could have just said “I’m sorry ma’am but I’m not at liability to talk about that.” instead he said “well i’m not gonna tell you anything about this this doesn’t concern you but there are even more reasons for him getting fired and i told him that (if you’re not going to tell me anything, why would you tell me THAT?). then he said he was going to call the police on me for calling. 10 seconds into a normal quiet phone call. i’ve never, ever experienced something like this. not ever as a hotel worker, not ever as a customer.
my body has been disabled for months. i can’t stand for more than 5-10 minutes without pain. same for sitting. i can’t lift anything over 20 pounds without putting severe stress on my bulging spinal disc (the doctor is trying to keep it from becoming herniated). actually, i carried a 25lb box of cat litter the other day and it fucked up my back for three days. i had nerve pain shooting from my back to my leg for three whole days because i tried to take care of something myself. i just have to lay in bed on my right side until the disc swelling goes down, and it makes me depressed and i cry. i’ve started some entrepreneurial sex work online and like, four days into setting up my stuff and working i’ve made literally a single dollar. i’m pretty pumped about that dollar but i’m scared that’s going to be our only source of income. i’m so fucking shocked and depressed about how they treated conrad and how they treated me. i tried to call back to politely get the number to their HR department after being threatened with police action (that’s still blowing my mind), i didn’t want to be underhanded or weird, i’m an experienced hotel worker and this is a pretty big deal. everyone at the front desk literally made fun of me and hung up on me like i was some sort of shrill woman yelling abuses and not someone who is both a hotel worker and a hotel client. they literally don’t even know if i’m one of their “elite” members, they didn’t know my full name, they didn’t have my number, they didn’t have anything. i know for a fact treating someone like that who politely asks for the HR number is far from any protocol i’ve been taught.
i don’t know how we’re going to make it. i don’t know how we’re going to survive. this is the worst.
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